Confessions of a Bad Girl

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(Photo Credit: Wonography)

I was the girl that dads didn’t want their sons dating.

I was the girl that moms told their daughters to not hang out with.

I was the bad girl.

I didn’t know how I got the label because I went to school, I babysat in my free time and tried to be a ‘good girl.’ But being a ‘good girl’ was boring. Even though I was labeled as a ‘bad girl,’ secretly I took a vow to not sleep around. Despite my vow, plenty of guys told stories about sleeping with me. I was a virgin in the closet because purity was not ‘cool.’

I didn’t want to be a bad girl and even had a touch from God when I was 12. I started going to a small Pentecostal church and loved it. I read my Bible. I prayed and even had prophetic dreams.

Then one day the girls who brought me to church cornered me behind an apartment building and threatened to drop me as a friend unless I smoked a joint with them. They were my only friends and smoked the joint. That was the last time I talked to God or went to church. The good church girls turned me off from God.

I didn’t want to be a bad girl but I was a thief because my parents couldn’t afford to buy clothes or shoes for me. I bought my own clothes, shoes and paid for my own food or admission fees into movies, skating etc. I was a self-funded bad girl.

I started smoking Marlboros at 11-years-old. At 13-years-old I hosted my first party with alcohol. At 16-years-old I was going to night clubs.

Many years later a good girl invited me to church. I went to her church and had an encounter with God. He turned me into God’s girl. From that day forward, I wanted to serve Him.

I joined a long line of bad girls in the Bible who had a place in God’s story despite their mistakes and shady past. Eve, the mother of all living who is blamed for the fall of mankind. Sarah who deceived her husband into sleeping with her maid in an attempt to fulfill God’s promise. Bathsheba who slept and married her husband’s murderer.

Rahab, a prostitute who was named within the genealogy of Jesus and became a great great grandmother to King David. There are so many other women who were forced into being defined as a ‘bad girl’ by circumstances or bad choices. Yet God chose them to be part of His story.

My past as a thug and thief has put a well of thankfulness in my heart to God. I’ve followed God for over 30 years and I still weep in gratitude that He let me join His family. He has taken a bad girl and put her in front of presidents, kings, celebrities, professional athletes and many other people.

He turned a bad girl into His girl, a vessel of honor and dignity instead of shame and reproach. For every woman reading this who has been defined by harsh circumstances as a bad girl, God is calling you to His story. He is calling you to a story of love, grace and freedom from your past. I pray that you will hear Him loudly and clearly as I did at 18-years-old.

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