Note: This is a guest post from Febe Long. I have known Febe for almost 15 years. I’ve been amazed to watch her blossom and stand through trials that would take out any other woman from the faith.
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I felt compelled to share a sliver of my story in the spirit of the day:
I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts from a young age. I even cut my wrists for a while just to get some relief from my emotional pain.
My world kept falling apart and my instincts kept telling me to “run- this is too much to handle- find an escape and get out!!”
The Lord kept asking me to surrender to him and let Him be my strength, but i kept trying to throw my own strength in the mix. Every time I fell into the hole of depression, I’d do my best to keep my eyes up, my thoughts optimistic, and my words positive-but my own efforts were not enough. It was a roller coaster of emotions and struggles.
Then, I lost the love of my life not once, but twice to PTSD and this shattered my soul. My strength did not exist. There was nothing left of me to carry on. It was in this darkest hour that i finally broke, and from the depths of my soul rose a heartbroken, whispered prayer:
Lord without you, i fall apart…
Lord I need you
OH, I NEED YOU!
Every hour I need you
My one defense
Oh God, how I need you!
Let me tell you, He is everything we will need. He is a lover, a father, a warrior, a champion of lost causes. His mercy doesn’t fail, his strength doesn’t waiver, his love never ends. He made each and everyone of us for a purpose: to honor him and live for His glory. Even if you can’t see that, he can. Do not give up. Do not give in. He is good and he only plans good for his children!!
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
Before you were born I set you apart”
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope AND a future.”
#NSPW13 #TWLOHA #YOUCANNOTBEREPLACED