I Want to Be Depended On

I was looking for a picture of the mural Chris drew and painted on his 2 bedroom walls when he was 8 years old and I stumbled across this:

The same 8-year-old boy that played with his little brother and little sister drew an amazing jungle mural with a lion, gorilla, and elephant drawn to perfect proportion. I was hoping to pull this mural to show off his artistry for the Kansas City Art Institute.

Chris returned the admissions counselor’s call today after she left him three messages. We need to get her his high school transcript, ACT score and 15 to 20 pieces of his art uploaded ASAP. Of course I’ve been telling him all year that he needs to work on his portfolio. But he’s an artist who would rather create than organize. Which is a lot like his mother.

Last night at 7:30pm my husband and I visited Liberty Tax to finish our taxes. I thank God for tax preparers like Kim Emery who added up every receipt from my husband’s business expenses and patiently calculated his business miles. If I have to choose between writing and working on my taxes, which do you think I’m going to choose?

I would rather create rather than organize. Chris is one of my most glorious creations as my son. I’ve told him that he christened me into adulthood. I freaked out that I was responsible for the caring and feeding of another human being who was completely dependent on me. My friends who knew me as a single gal that flitted about the country at a whim, prayed for him and me.

They prayed that I wouldn’t forget picking him up after school. Or forget about feeding him or leave him at church. Thankfully after 18 years, I’ve remembered to pick him up at school, feed him when he is hungry and never left him at church.

I heard a message last Sunday about how being made in the image of God is being in the god class. We are not gods per say, but we are in His class of being able to create. But just like we have the ability to create, He enjoys our complete dependency on Him.

We don’t like depending on anybody and our culture celebrates the self-made, independent individual. Depending on someone is considered a weakness. But I keep thinking of that scripture when Jesus said He does the Father’s will. Jesus was a dependent being who could call on an army of angels.

He walked on water. He healed people. He fed 5,000 yet He was completely dependent on the Father. Another hallmark message that I’ve had drilled into me by Pastor Steve Gray is learning how to become smaller on your own eyes so He is bigger. I’ve never heard any preacher encourage congregants to become smaller. Instead, the church encourages us to become bigger in God, to the point we don’t need anyone, and maybe not Him.

As I’ve watched Chris grow up from the baby who snuggled at my neck, then wrestling with his little brother to the 18-year-old looking for his art work, I silently pray and hope that he will still depend on me. That he will still need me. Don’t get me wrong, I want him to do well and I know that God will bless everything that he puts his hand to but I still want him to need me.

I loved helping him get his applications together for college, doing the research and editing his essays. And just like I love to help Chris, I get a taste of how the Father loves to be needed. He loves to hear us call out to Him and depend on Him.

Unfortunately, the only time most people notice Him is when they are in a crisis. If you live from one crisis to another, that may be one reason why they never stop. The never ending crises make you depend on Him.

What if you called out to Him and depended on Him when the times were good? I bet those crises would happen farther apart in life and become infrequent. Learning how to need Him, depend on Him, call out to Him to thank Him, love Him and honor Him when times are good is a discipline of consistent devotion.

Try it right now. Thank Him for the good things happening in your life even though you might be in the middle of a crisis. Thank Him for the outcome. Honor Him by sharing about the good things He has done in your life with someone else. Consistently needing Him, depending on Him with disciplined devotion will keep you involved with His life and Him with your life.

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